Smurf Jacobs

Sigh. This is just too smurfin' weird.

Photo- Splash

Unfake Coco Rocha teaches kids Riverdance

Coco Rocha teaches Irish dancing to school children in Harlem in part of the Children's Aid Society.

"It wasn't a huge crowd, but these are kids who are interested in dance... I can't say I have experienced cancer, and I just don't want people to think I'm fake," a slightly dim Rocha says to fashionweekdaily.

All in all, it's quite nice to have models actually show their skill to inner city school children; now if only Daria Werbowy comes to my inner-city school to teach me gorgeous lessons, I'll be as giddy as a little schoolgirl.

Video Note: Coco's convulsive leg flicks and unnaturally floppy wig may cause mild seizure. It's JPG all over again!

Ultimate Stairmaster

Only the Kaiser could stage the F/W Fendi show on Oct 19 at the fortress against Ghengis Khan: the Great Wall of China. So, the Chinese built this military stronghold, with the most strenuous labor, toil, resulting in numerous deaths, just so Karl and the gang could showcase the new Fendi bag to Julia Restoin Roitfeld and Kate Bosworth. Such elitism never seemed so prominent and contradictory in a communist country.

I must commend the models in heels that shuffled up and down those stairs; seriously, when I climbed the Great Wall last year, I had a cardio orgasm, and plus the stairs were crumbling and uneven which made me feel like I was going to fall flat on my face with every step.

Silvia Fendi & Karl Lagerfeld

Tinsley Mortimer (useless US Vogue fave), Amanda Hearst (ditto), Zani Gugelman, Julia Restoin Roitfeld

Thandie Newton

Kate Bosworth and Ziyi Zhang wear major furry whatsits. Is it skunk fur? Panda? Yeti? Dyed Snuffleupagus?

Photos- Gettyimages

Googled.

On a tip from the highly informative blog, Independent Fashion Bloggers, I signed up for Google Analytics a couple days ago. Basically, it's a tracker for blogs, only googlized to death with pie charts and maps and such. So far, it's been a hoot. There's this tracker that monitors what keywords are typed into Google search to find a blog, and since my blog name is fashion orgasm, one can only imagine the hilarity and horrors that are typed to find this blog.
Utterly strange keywords I came upon were:
-marc jacobs head bobbles

-dior heartless bitch

-agyness shit neon

-why am I so hungry
-sex burrito orgasm
-open close orgasm
- orgasm with clothes on
-nu femmes in hungry
-my little pony furry sex

People have rather bizarre fetishes these days.

Photos- Gettyimages

tabloid fodder

I was salivating for the next W magazine Art issue - remember the phantasmagoric Eden edit. by Mario Sorrenti and Richard Tuttle? And me love me some Richard Prince, who was touted as the feature story in this issue. However, this year's art issue is truly puzzling. First of all the cover: Plain and simple, it's just a red carpet image ripped off from Getty Images, with a manipulation of the autograph by Prince himself. Then he uses a gaggle of other celebrities and shIT girls and etchs their autographs onto paparazzi pictures as well. I know Prince is fond of reproducing photographs to his own liking, copyright infringements be damned. Tis' be art, or is W going the way of the US Weekly?

(This is the first and last time Jessica Simpson appears in this blog)
Photos- W

Modelsmodelsmodels

Photos-Style.com

Kink and Kitsch

Marc makes clichéd nympho nurse fantasy come true for Louis Vuitton Spring 08 RTW with supermodels galore. Is this going to warrant sold-out nurse outfits at the local sex shoppes? And the cashcow monogrammed bags are more touristy than ever and pure merde. (Although logo bags make my eyes bleed nonetheless) And what is up with the Spongebob lunchbox? We want to know Marc!

Nadja Auermann. I always wanted her assassin legs, sigh.

As I said, logo bags make eyes bleed, especially ones made of plastic, eeergh.

Button up that shirt Hasselhoff
Photos-Style.com

Blow Up

I have only recently realized the wonderous Marilyn Minter. Born in 1948, Minter has since been making painting and photographs of close-up glamour, fashion and sex sex SEX. There is an grotesque beauty that belies each work, whether it be a dripping wet pout or an eye covered in pounds of glitter. The ever-miniscule details are depicted and sensualized, making each piece of art voyeuristic, abstract. Even the filthy feet photos have a fetishized quality to them. Marilyn Minter is totally the new Andy Warhol for me.

Photos- saatchi gallery

Colorific

Even though I have an a slight abhorrence for unnatural and really bad hair dye jobs (my school is full of them), the stark wigs just looked too cool at the Anna Sui show.

photos- (where else?) style.com